Mrs.petersonphonedtherepairmanbecauseherdishwasherquitworking.Hecouldn‘taccommodateherwithan"after-hours"appointmentandsinceshehadtogotowork,shetoldhim,"I‘llleavethekeyunderthemat.Fixthedishwasher,l..

purring:Soundofacatmanufacturingcuteness.purrverse:poemaboutastrangekitty.purranoia:Thefearthatyourcatisuptosomething.Humanbeing:Automaticdooropenerforcats.purrpetual:Everlastinglovefordomesticatedfel..

Iwenttothecinematheotherdayandinthefrontrowwasanoldmanandwithhimwashisdog.Itwasasadfunnykindoffilm,youknowthetype.Inthesadpart,thedogcriedhiseyesout,andinthefunnypart,thedoglaugheditsheadoff.Thishappe..

Theanimalswerebored.Finally,thelionhadanidea."Iknowareallyexcitinggamethatthehumansplaycalledfootball.I‘veseenitonT.V."Heproceededtodescribeittotherestoftheanimalsandtheyallgotexcitedaboutitsotheydec..

Thefollowingisatruestory.Therewasthislittlekidwhohadabadhabitofsuckinghisthumb.Hismotherfinallytoldhimthatifhedidn‘tstopsuckinghisthumb,he‘dgetfat.Twoweekslater,hismotherhadherfriendsoverforagameofb..

GreattruthsaboutlifethatadultshavelearnedRaisingteenagersislikenailingJell-Otoatree.Thereisalwaysalottobethankfulforifyoutakethetimetolook.Forexample:I‘msittingherethinkinghowniceitisthatwrinklesdon..

Awomanmeanttocallarecordstorebutdialedthewrongnumberandgotaprivatehomeinstead."Doyouhave‘EyesofBlue‘and‘ALoveSupreme‘?"sheasked."Well,no,"answeredthepuzzledhomeowner."ButIhaveawifeandelevenchildre..

Themanpassedoutinadeadfaintashecameoutofhisfrontdoorontotheporch.Someonedialed911.Whentheparamedicsarrived,theyhelpedhimregainconsciousnessandaskedifheknewwhatcausedhimtofaint."Itwasenoughtomakeanybod..

Amanobservedawomaninthegrocerystorewithathreeyearoldgirlinherbasket.Astheypassedthecookiesection,thechildaskedforcookiesandhermothertoldher"no."Thelittlegirlimmediatelybegantowhineandfuss,andthemother..

FourexpectantfatherswereinaMinneapolishospitalwaitingroom,whiletheirwiveswereinlabor.Thenursearrivedandannouncedtothefirstman,"Congratulationssir,you‘rethefatheroftwins.""Whatacoincidence!"themansaid..

Theotherday,Iwaswalkingmydogaroundmybuilding...ontheledge.Somepeopleareafraidofheights.Notme,I‘mafraidofwidths.Ihadadogonce.Ispilledspotremoveronhim,andnowhe‘sgone.Iputcontactlensesinmydog‘seyes.Th..

Whenoursecondchildwasontheway,mywifeandIattendedapre-birthclassaimedatcoupleswhohadalreadyhadatleastonechild.Theinstructorraisedtheissueofbreakingthenewstotheolderchild.Itwentlikethis:"Someparents,"sh..

Twovampirebatswakeupinthemiddleofthenight,thirstyforblood.Onesays,"Let‘sflyoutofthecaveandgetsomeblood.""We‘renewhere,"saysthesecondone."It‘sdarkout,andwedon‘tknowwheretolook.We‘dbetterwaituntilt..

Therewasawomanwhowaspregnantwithtwins,andshortlybeforetheyweredue,shehadanaccidentandwentintoacoma.Herhusbandwasawayonbusiness,andunabletobereached.Whileinthecoma,shegavebirthtohertwins,andtheonlypers..

Threeratsaresittingatthebartalkingbraggingabouttheirbraveryandtoughness.Thefirstsays,"I‘msotough,onceIateawholebagfulofratpoison!"Thesecondsays,"WellI‘msotough,onceIwascaughtinarattrapandIbititapart..

Amanwenttovisitafriendandwasamazedtofindhimplayingchesswithhisdog.Hewatchedthegameinastonishmentforawhile."Icanhardlybelievemyeyes!"heexclaimed."That‘sthesmartestdogI‘veeverseen.""Nah,he‘snotsosmar..

Amanandhiswifeweremakingtheirfirstdoctorvisit,thewifebeingpregnantwiththeirfirstchild.Aftereverythingcheckedout,thedoctortookasmallstampandstampedthewife‘sstomachwithindelibleink.Thecouplewascuriousa..

Thefollowingisatruestorywrittenbyaneducationalpsychologistandherexperienceonaplane.OnaflighttoFlorida,Iwaspreparingmynotesforoneoftheparent-educationseminarsIconductasaneducationalpsychologist.Theelde..

TheFirstparentbyBillCosbyWheneveryourkidsareoutofcontrol,youcantakecomfortfromthethoughtthatevenGod‘somnipotencedidnotextendtohiskids.AftercreatingHeavenandEarth,GodcreatedAdamandEve.Andthefirstthing..

Therewerethesetwocows,chattingoverthefencebetweentheirfields.Thefirstcowsaid,"Itellyou,thismad-cow-diseaseisreallyprettyscary.Theysayitisspreadingfast;IheardithitsomecowsdownontheJohnsonFarm."Theother..